Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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