It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
