I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You need a sexual gate keeper
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
