you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
