i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
