Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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