i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Drunk is not a location!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize