Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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