What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
sarcasm needs its own font
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
