I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
