i'm signing you up for texting rehab
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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