His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
