i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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