Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize