Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
