Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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