no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
