its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
