do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
there is glitter all over my balls
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
