Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize