sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
