I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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