I was born with a shot glass in my hand
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
