I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
