my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think my tv is drunk
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
