He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
