I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
