He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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