He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
