He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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