yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight