You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?