Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"