I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.