woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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