So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
