So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I looked at my own cervix.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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