I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
