what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
