Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
