I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
