90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize