i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dicks are not precious.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
