he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
How's work?
Spinning.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i out mim tonsoeep
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