I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
