Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
