"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
