New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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