you traded sex for a burrito?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
