I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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