if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
