I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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