I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just had sex on a roof
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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