i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
