O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
