i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
