There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
