I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
