Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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