About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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