already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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