so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
