Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
