Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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