if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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