Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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