its not stalking. its research.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
