FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
