It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
