Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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