people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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