Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Randomize
