Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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