at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
